


Substitution

by Queen of the Castle (queen_of_the_castle_77)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-23
Updated: 2011-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-22 23:49:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_of_the_castle_77/pseuds/Queen%20of%20the%20Castle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You wouldn't be here unless you thought it was necessary. Just being around me helps you pretend."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Substitution

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Lusty Month of May Marathon 2007.

As Remus might have previously suspected, had it ever occurred to him to consider it, it wasn't particularly comfortable holding himself up on his hands and knees while having a wand – ten and a quarter inches and quite rigid – shoved repeatedly up his arse. Though the friction caused by the stick brushing past his prostate sent the best sort of shivers down his spine, the harsh scrape of the narrow wand tip coupled with his own paranoia left him wary of physical injury. Not to mention the potential for spell damage if the wand was rubbed – oh! – just the wrong (or right) way while it was inside him.

But each thrust was a mixture of pleasure and an alarming sort of near-pain; it was a dichotomy of feeling that swirled almost deliciously into one onslaught of sensation. He couldn't bear to see it ended right at that moment, even if it meant spending yet more time in the company of Healers, and in a more embarrassing way than that to which his werewolf nature had made him accustomed.

The wooden length was also much harder than anything he'd previously used while wanking himself. It was unyielding, much like the look on Regulus's face as he scowled slightly in concentration and twisted the handle of the wand, drawing a yelp from the back of Remus's throat.

"Fuck, harder," Remus begged. He couldn't help but ask for more, though he knew that it wasn't really quite what he needed. He would have preferred to feel the dull ache of a cock breaching his sphincter, and the feeling of fingers ghosting over his erection almost tentatively, as if unsure how to best please another man. Remus knew that Regulus's hands were anything but uncertain in their touch, though.

That was fine with him. It helped him remember where he was when he delved too far into fantasy. And it wasn't Regulus's hands in particular that Remus imagined encircling his prick anyway.

They'd begun their 'relationship' without pretences. Remus had needed a believable stand-in. Regulus had needed someone who could handle a bit of stress being taken out on them. Compared to the bone-deep ache of the werewolf transformation that he just barely seemed to recover from before being subjected to it once more the next month, what Regulus was asking for was nothing.

Remus still wasn't certain quite how they'd found each other this way, and he'd certainly had his reservations at first, but theirs had proven to be a mostly acceptable match.

He grunted and thrust back into the touch as Regulus caressed his arse almost tenderly. Though he knew it was an action born of Regulus's need to play his part convincingly rather than any actual affection, Remus still needed that contact just as keenly as if it had been genuine.

"Are you going to come like this?" Regulus asked with a laugh, falling out of character. "On my wand alone, like a whore?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "No, I'm really not. So touch me already."

"No."

Remus's head jerked sideways so that he could look up at Regulus's face. "Fuck. _Touch me_ ," he demanded again. "Please. We had a deal."

There was an abrupt popping sound followed by a feeling of sudden emptiness, and all possibilities of eventual relief seemed to vanish.

"No," Regulus said petulantly. "Touch yourself, if you need it so damned badly. I'll work at my own pace or not at all."

And Remus did reach down to touch himself, despite how precarious it felt to have only one hand flattened against the bed to steady himself. He had little choice, at that point. There was, after all, nothing he could really say when he was up against the patented Black stubborn selfishness. In all honesty, that essence of character was part of what had made Remus seek Regulus out, so who was he to complain?

He did, however, still want the other man to hurry up and help him out.

A caress finally ran down his side. Remus would almost have thought that the light touch had come from the hand of a real lover. He knew that was wishful thinking, though. It didn't take him long to identify that the vague tingle left behind was not a shiver from skin-on-skin contact, but the magical residue from the tip of another's wand. It was the sort of thing only someone with his heightened senses would be able to pick up on, but it was made no less erotic by that knowledge.

The touch stopped to swirl over his hipbone suggestively. Remus thought for a moment that Regulus might take pity on him and resume fucking him with the wand, or perhaps move on and give him some other kind of assistance. However, the feeling of smooth hardness against his skin disappeared all together and he heard the clatter of the wand being discarded several feet away.

"Damn it!" Remus said. "Do something!"

"I told you, I'll do what I like."

Remus abruptly rolled around onto his back and angrily shoved Regulus away from him. Their angry gazes met as Remus jerked himself off. Climax, when it hit him, seemed almost incidental; it was necessary by then, but it wasn't particularly pleasurable.

As there was barely even a high to come down from, it didn't take long at all before Remus decided he was livid.

"We agreed to a trade," he said. "No wonder Sirius thinks you're hopeless, if you can't even keep your word about something simple like this."

"Shut up," Regulus growled. "I touched you, didn't I? That's all you asked for."

"I wouldn't have come here at all if I knew I'd have to jerk myself off in the end! I could do that at home."

"But it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying," Regulus leered. "And you can't fool me; you’re here because you need to be. Just being around me helps you pretend."

"I can live without sex," Remus said.

"But you can't live without _him_. Or at least the illusion of him. And I know better than anyone that he won't take you back now that he's decided that you're tainted goods."

Remus gritted his teeth. "He doesn't think that. Not about me. _I'm_ not a Death Eater, you know."

Regulus smiled, though it far from reached his eyes – those eyes that were so painfully similar to Sirius's.

"Nor am I, in any way that matters," he said. "Not anymore, at least. But don't think for a moment that he'll ever believe either of us until it's too late. He's a Gryffindor through and through, my brother."

And Remus simply wasn't Gryffindor enough to match the standards that Sirius set. Regulus didn't say it aloud, but Remus knew well enough that it had always come down to that. They'd tried hard to pretend they were the same when they'd been at school sharing everything from Chocolate Frogs to dormitory rooms to forbidden mutual wanks on Sirius's bed. And while denial had worked well enough for them then, it simply wasn't enough anymore.

Or, at least, it wasn't enough for Sirius.

It was almost enough for Remus, though. As Regulus had said, Remus wouldn't have gone looking for him without cause.

If Remus squinted just right and tried not to concentrate on how obviously different their voices were underneath the haughtiness, Regulus could almost pass for Sirius.

Remus would have liked the real thing, but a substitute would have to be enough. And for all that he got angry when Regulus didn't prove to be quite enough, he knew he'd keep coming back to him as long as he was able.

His brand of denial was, after all, better than nothing.

~FIN~


End file.
